You Won't

Strum and Bang


all songs by Josh Arnoudse and Raky Sastri
© 2016 Extraneous Music LLC



remember me, remember you
among the ranks, two of a crew
free as a bird to waste our time
among the young, among the blind

sing with me now the strange refrain
of what we were and what remains
look at you now, lost in the weeds
mind in the gutter, ass in the breeze

we men of means
hung up on high
cut from the tree
cast from the tribe
to waste away and wonder why
to make a baby and bleed it dry


born into fire, were we? I’d call it paradise
without a worry to me I ran the streets at night
and in that heady weather there was no you and I
but now we’re bound together and there is no divide

remember when you threw me the hard stuff high inside? 
you shot a terror through me that never did subside
you know sometimes I wonder what sent us down the slide
but now we’re ten feet under
digging to the bottom in the middle of the night

well you know me
I’ll be spinning in the middle hidden in another hurricane eye
every time

oh could it be
that we are living out a riddle only headed for a lonely ride
well I don’t mind

you’re free to make your choices and free to question mine
but ’til we split our voices, let there be no divide


so your mama was a mess sometimes
took the keys away and told you you were boring
well come sit and talk with me tonight
we can bore each other both until the morning

so your daddy was a poltergeist
sent your little sister screaming down the hallway
well I don’t know about the afterlife
but I can help you to forget about the old days

you say your body is a bad punch line
you’re sick of looking like a beast after a bombing
well baby take a look at me sometime
let me add a little yodel to your yawning

if you don’t believe me
and you’re left feeling hollow
tie a tooth to a tree
pull the string and I’ll follow

you say your brain is like a lost land mine
one false move and you could send the children flying
well I can’t think of any reason why
I couldn’t add a little dancing to your dying


little boy born in a subway station
mom and dad gonna put him on a train
shot a cap gun at the United Nations
here come the fuzz, gonna carry him away

here come the fuzz
get out your gun
kick out the bedroom door
and I’ll run through the night
ready to die
’til you wonder why you never see me anymore

Caroline come from a good education
22 years just to whittle down her brain
government siren of sweet abbreviation
here come that little boy just to blow it all away

here come the fuzz
get out your gun
kick out the classroom door
and I’ll run through the night
ready to die
’til you wonder why you never see me anymore

don’t you wish you could be the salt of the sea
not a trophy for all that has been and will be
when you’re born onto stilts you don’t stand on your feet

handsome man like a little island nation
bears the brand of the riddle in his brain
“can’t you find just a little consolation?” 
“that’s what I’m in the middle of” he sang

don’t you wish you could be the salt of the sea
not a trophy for all that has been and will be
when you’re born onto stilts you don’t stand on your feet


O come ye wasted children, whose praises do you sing? 
Whose image do you gaze on, your finger to the screen? 
What message to deliver, what wisdom to be gleaned? 
What wisecracks there to linger where my brain cells used to be? 

Dream on, dream on!


Jesus born again in a world of play pretend, of beards and old banjos
martyr made to be a teenage fantasy to claim and call your own
it ain’t you babe
I’m looking through you

Jesus sings of otherworldly things with a larynx like a radio
telephone rings with the losses and gains of his stock portfolio
nothing to it
you can’t refuse him

oooooooo Jesus won’t you save us from ourselves?
draw a line between us and the golden cloud from which you fell

Jesus walks through crowds of children who don’t know what is real
screens aloft they bow down before him
as he teaches them to think and feel
and they are healed! 

Oooooooo Jesus won’t you save them from themselves? 
take the reins and lead them to the sounding of the opening bell



up all night, counting sheep
kicking legs and grinding teeth
you were singing in your sleep
“man, I don’t know what to believe,
I don’t know about you and me” 

what made you strange at 17
will make you sad at 33
“It ain’t the same” you said to me
“and I don’t know what came between,
I don’t know about you and me” 

and if you’re aching for a change
I’ll drill a hole into your brain
watch it spiral down the drain
’til no memory or chemistry remains

every night, the strangest dream
where I chase you and you chase me
swimming circles ‘round the sea
’til our eyes are full of salt and turning green
and the bottom drops out of the trampoline
and we’re back to the beginning you and me

10. 1-4-5

I was standing there broken down, wanting to cry
like a Santa Claus joke on the 4th of July
but I spoke not a word and I held my head high
’til I opened my throat on a 1-4-5

and I know what you’re thinking, you don’t have to lie
something always feels wrong when you tell me I’m right
‘cause I know you too well and I know what you like
and I’ll bring it on home with that 1-4-5

I was counting out rattlesnakes under my bed
there were twenty-five Joshuas, thirty-nine Jeffs
when you start talking numbers I start turning red
put a brand on my butt and a price on my head

and I’ll do as you say, put my name on the line
drill a hole in my brain and I’ll bleed myself dry
‘cause it’s always the same, trade a buck for a spine
and I’ll tear out your heart with that 1-4-5

one day I will vanish mysteriously
to grow old and start taking things seriously
with no light in my eyes and no blood in my feet
I will stumble down, sputter out, stutter and squeak
until sooner or later I can learn how to lie
how to say “how are you” without wanting to die
when I open my throat, ain’t no sparks gonna fly
just a tired refrain and that 1-4-5


in the Kingdom of Righteousness, you held the throne
you were wise as a prophet and sound as a stone
a tower of flame rising up from the ground
to devour and defame all the youngbloods around you

I was shocked and chagrined, shattered and broken-hearted
to find us my friend so far from where we started
the smallest offense and you clamored to see me
strung up in the air like a dead Mussolini

so what good have you done with your moral marauding? 
your dogs are all dead and their corpses are rotting
and all that remains of your wasted devotion
is buried in lead at the bottom of the ocean


Douchey come and Douchey go
what does Douchey want?
only Douchey knows
Douchey done like he did before
I was Douchey once but I ain’t no more

I was seventeen when I first believed
I was young and strong, I was sad and mean
and it was ten long years learning how to breathe
in a bubble buried six feet deep

only twenty-one, I was dead and gone
up and hung my head from the highest rung
and it’s a long way down from all Kingdom Come
to a mop and broom and a staple gun


Oh when I was just a little boy, my daddy sat me down
said “my son, you are a Douchey, Douchey won’t you do me proud?”
so I shunned the foolishnesses of the other kids at play
scuttled off my youthfulness and I just set out on my way
down the straight and narrow highway headed right into the sun
and when I got to New York City all the zeroes turned to ones
and I was wandering the sidewalk telling strangers where to go
I was singing like a savior in a manger all alone
’til I made myself a martyr and nobody seemed to mind
broke a window with my buttocks but my buttocks were just fine
’til I woke up in a forest with my fingers turning blue
and started serving ice cream sandwiches to men in business suits
took a look into the mirror,
said “OH GOD, what can I do
to feel like a human being and not a DOUCHE?” 



“you can’t go wrong!” they told me
“be what you believe in, and see it through”
I played along and pinned my hopes on me and you
are you gonna wait until your only ride is leaving to think things through? 
before too long you’re turning green and black and blue

and there’s another little snowflake crying
when all his penny wishes won’t come true
but don’t you whittle down your forehead wondrin’ why
I believed it too

“it’s not too late!”
there was a ringing in my eardrums
some deaf old dudes just hanging on for their dear lives in old punk boots
I said “you win some, you lose some, you’re bound to find a reason to hold on too” 
if I was wrong, then I was wrong
what can I do? 

oh you’re not the only one who’s trying
to dig a hole through what you just can’t move
oh you’re not the one and only dog who’s dying 

I believed it too
I believed it too


she was a young girl in motion
another ripple in the ocean
gathering up all of her force into a wave
another year or four
and she was tearing up the floor
and tearing down anyone who tore into her way

she was dragging like an anchor
full of righteousness and rancor
running down her Revolutionary road
yeah, she set me straight alright
on what was wrong and what was right
with all the wisdom of a twenty-two year-old

loosen up, look around you
you don’t have to drive yourself into the ground
you’re only young and so afraid
to see the world in all its many shades of grey

she said
“I grew up with a feeling I’d be hanging from the ceiling
by the time I hit the age of twenty-five
but the more that I keep breathing without looking for a reason,
the more that I am glad to be alive
and I don’t know why”